Poetry by Tanesha

Angry: Where are the Real Ass men?

2009-04-13T00:41:00.004-04:00

*Panting uncontrollably*
*Exhibiting fury across my countenance*
*Tears of faucets leak onto my cheeks*
*Cracking knuckles like rain erode cements*
*Blood pressure bursting like volcanic eruptions*
*Face filled with blood like a girl’s pad on her menstruation*
*My body begins to shake trembles as if I’m seizing*
*My feet begin to stomp harder than Greeks do when their stepping *
*Muscles are tenser more than a body builder flexing*
*Teeth clinched tighter than a girl’s vagina when it’s virgin*
*Screaming at the top of my lungs louder than crickets cricking in silence*
*Rhythmic walking back in forth more in sync than a boy band*
*Spewing curses more than Spiderman ever did his webbing*
*Eyes become engorged with blood faster then my uncle’s transfusion*
*Eye brows arched higher then McDonalds*
*Nostrils flared wider than a prostitute's legs are*
*My chest rising higher than the highest point on Mount Kilimanjaro*
*My stomach in knots more constricted then boa*
*My mind is racing faster then a speeding bullet*

These are the sensations
That actually happen
When I’m in bouts of anger
I dubbed this reaction
"Hulkamania"
I never want to get this point ever
But all these motherfuckas
Keeping testing me
Like I’m a high school student
Taking the SAT
I’m a grown ass black woman that’s fucking angry
Not for an ordinary reason
I’m furious
Because its seems like
Boys are no longer growing up to be men
They only see one side of the tracks
When rappers are rapping
About women being bitches and hoes
Treating women worst then a thorn bushed rose
Peeping through cement in the projects
Its shame today’s generation of men
Are stuck with mindsets of adolescents
There are dudes
Still playing with childish things
30+ years of age
Still playing games
Us women, we want a wider
Selection of real ass men
Not afraid of claiming their responsibility
Not afraid of getting a job
That’s worthy of a resume
Not afraid of stepping out on faith
To accomplish his dreams
We want Nubians Kings
This isn’t the hardest request
That for some reason
Can't be granted
To the men that are at home
That’s really the reason why I’m fucking angry
Get off your ass make yourself something
Be the man that was created
Son of Adam, Moses, Jesus, Martin, Malcom, Dubois, Booker, and Barak
All the men who paved the way for you to stand on a foundation
Step into those shoes
And be the rock
Stop being afraid
Break the Willie Lynch Mentality
Your mind and your body are strong equally
My brothers
Realize that you are Heaven’s ultimate creation
Civilization wouldn’t have been created
If you didn’t have one less rib
I’m tired of being angry
By seeing less and less real ass men
It’s not too late for you my brothers
To change my anger into pleasure
Because I’m optimistic
My son and his son’s sons for generations
Won’t miss this lesson that I’m teaching
In this poem that I’m spitting
If you’re a real man in this audience
Stand up and
Proclaim your existence
Then, go and grab the next boy
And transform his presence
From a boy to a man
Before it’s too late
And real ass men reach extinction!

RE: Snake Eyes

2009-04-07T02:24:00.002-04:00

What up Everyone!!

First and foremost, I pray that the Lord brings you peace and happiness!

Secondly, Snakes Eyes is a fictional poem that I wrote in response to a situation that I heard about a young girl having sex for the first time and contracting the virus HIV. The story really sadden and angered me to my core. As a writer, I try to take myself to a place where I can live momentarily vicariously through others to be able to tell their stories, and with this piece, Snake Eyes, I did just that. This piece is an example out of many that God has allowed for me to write to reach the masses.

Snake Eyes

2009-04-07T02:18:00.001-04:00

With his eyes he bit me
With his slick speech he gushed venom into me
This time by him and his lies I was weakened
Fell to my knees
Thanking God for sending what felt like the one
Believing that the game he spit was sincere
So I left my anti-venom magic serum at home
I walked out the house unprotected
Into me his slid this fang
So carefully not hurt me
Physically
But spiritually he killed me with every thrust
Because when he came
He released death on me
With every strand
6 months with no side effects
Until I picked up a cough
That wouldn't seem to subside
It never crossed my mind that
He infected me with HIV
Until I caught pneumonia
And the doctor's science had to put two and two together
I couldn't believe my ears
Wished that my fears could turn into April fools jokes
I asked the doctor to come again but
The same dreadful lines he spoke
I'm sorry Ma'am but your HIV positive
The anger within me began to rise again
Feelings of loneliness
Because I haven't seen that
Nigga since
The sixth
When we commenced
Once…
I've been murdered
In my days of living
If you can't wrap your mind around it
Just listen
I had sex once
The advantage of my virginity was snatched from me
Because this nigga knew
That he had HIV
When he had sex with me
But still he had me chasing water falls
And he allowed for this virus to sing praises of my final song
21 years old
Now my is life gone
Swallowed by a man whose intentions were wrong
I should have listen to my guardian angel
She sent me signs
But I was too desperate for love and
So I ignored them
Now I’m quickly approaching my death bed
With nothing but the verbal memories called lies
And his physical memories called SNAKE EYES!

Heaven's Poetry

2009-03-29T14:20:00.002-04:00

I’ve lost my mind
And I don’t know where to find it
Because it’s been carried away on this mental exodus
Called Heaven’s Poetry
You see He took my worldly mind
And replaced it with that of poets that came before me
Like Langston Hughes, Zora Neal Hurtson, and James Baldwin
Just to name a few
Because if you’re a real poet
Then you would know
How long the list goes on
I’ve lost my sense of direction
Because I’m so caught up in writing
That I get lost just thinking
When this pen writes it’s not me
Its mechanics
Some how my fingers know how to print letters
Without me even commanding it
From my brain
Cause I’m a robotic
Tic tock I don’t stop
I’ve lost sleep over this art form
Because there’s no specific time to create a poem
As poets we are on God’s time
So when He says, “write my child”
I awake from my slumber
Ready spill ink onto these papers
At moment’s notice
Until my fingers crumble
Humbled I will forever be
To be blessed with this art form called poetry
Without it I swear I would be 6 feet deep
As a child I couldn’t find myself
I’ve lost my way
And I had to one to confirm who I was
Trapped inside misery
The end I couldn’t see
As if no light would shine upon me
All I saw was darkness
Until I saw this composition book posted under a light beam
Curiosity killed the cat
So I decided to grab it
Every since then it’s been my best friend
It’s been there since I came out from the pits of death
It’s been there since I emerged into success
With the titanium "S" engraved on my chest
Yes, I’m going to make it
Yes, I’m going to make it
Yes, I’m going it make it
Yes-I’m-Going-to-Make-It
That saying is like my favorite song constantly on repeat
That affirmation has allow for me to find who I am
Amongst this jungle of others
Making my away through these human bodied serpents
Trying to ingest in me their ill-fated poison
I’ve lost everything else but not my anti-venom
Because all I have to do is spit one line at them
They go down like the Domino Effect
My top five like to T-mobile
Is carefully selected
Because you can gauge how far you’ll go
By the company you keep
And I’m going far, so God takes up all five seats
I will forever be lost with in this world we call earth
Because in Heaven’s Poetry God has already found me

Untitled

2009-03-17T23:08:00.002-04:00

People need to understand that I don’t want no fucking handouts
I’m a grind for everything until my fucking hearts stops
Because I will make it to the top
Just watch
When I show you
How a kid from jersey
Can make millions spittin poetry
With or with out a beat
Once people get a taste of me
They will see
That I am the truth
Then, they will have no choice, but to follow me
And cop my books and my cd’s
I agree with Talaam Acey
When he said, “Come to spoken word and get your inner self seduced/
'cause what else can move your inner self out side your self like the truth?”
I’m tired of hearing cliché poets
Writing shit about poetry and how much they love it
Because if you love it so much then spit some real shit
So people can get knowledge
This is a gift from god so don’t you dare waste it on that foolishness
Trying to get some of the white man’s dividends
Spitting poems about how much you killing folk
When you never even seen a glock yo
That aint your story
But you fabricate it
Just so you can get that money
You doing an injustice to all the people needing encouragement
There are Gods words
From the realness, how dare you change them?
As a real spoken word artist
I’m a stay within my blackness
But I will reach others
Because the things that I say
God spilled onto these fuckin papers

Spiritual Renewal

2009-03-17T18:50:00.001-04:00

The mind is a tool of deception
Built to cause the trichotomy
Of the Mind, the Soul, and the Body to fall to destruction
Meant to make you think you’re in a state of depression
But your heart becomes your resurrection
Your saving grace and your salvation
Listen to your heart and you will make it to the end
Think with your heart to allow the body to come alive again
Because God’s in your heart, so He can amend those deep dark feelings
Trust in God and his Bible- His living stamp of approval
Because it’s been proven to give people Spiritual Renewal!

Dream Big People!!! God is Good

2009-03-15T23:54:00.002-04:00

This song has been speaking to my spirit lately and I had to post it for you all!! Carpe Diem!! Seize the Day!!!

I’m Back in Training

2009-03-15T23:47:00.004-04:00

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left
Said the drill sergeant
In that instance I was back in training
Push ups, sit ups, and running 24/7
Brainwashing
Kill the enemy there will be no sacrificing!
Said the drill sergeant
Man, I'm back I'm training
All this yelling and cursing
You mother fucking private
Yells the drill sergeant
Crawling under live bullets
Getting smoked in the pt pit
Wall lockers getting raided for contraband
Treading through sands, rucking
Damn, I'm back I'm training
Uniform and barrack inspections
Boring ass classes
About the same shit
No headstands
Keep your head erected
No sleeping or you'll get some extra pt
3 minutes to eat
And there better not be on that plate any fucking sweets
Commands the drill sergeant
Fuck, I’m back in training
Waking up every morning to yelling and reveilles
Eating hot A’s but my favorite were MRE’s
Every second of the day carrying my m-16
That was my only friend
And I named him Charlie
That was Basic Combat Training
Now I’m in AIT
At Fort Sam Houston
A combat medic is what I’m trying to be
I’m losing my freedom for 16 weeks and
It seems like this training will never have an ending
‘Cause fuck man, I’m back in training

I'm Searching For A Love

2009-03-12T23:09:00.002-04:00

I’m searching for a love
A love
A love
Where are you?
I’m looking in all the right places
The right places
The right places
Or am I?
I can’t seem to find you anywhere
Anywhere
Anywhere
Or did I?
Or have I already missed you?
Have you passed me along?
I can’t help but think that you are gone
If not, when you come into my life
I can’t wait for you to upgrade me
Teach me about those things that I could never imagine
Like the galaxies above and this thing we call love
I’m searching for a love to hold me tight
I can’t breathe because he protects me
Keeps me in his prayers because he’s God fearing
I want someone who knows the meaning behind poetry
So when he speaks it’s heaven that flows off of his lips
Like silky milk chocolates
I’m searching for a love that is confident in himself
Such that my strong personality won’t emasculate his masculinity
I’m searching for a clean cut man
Not those baggy jeans and white tees and flashy jewelries and aye shawty’s
I’m searching for a love draped in intelligent sheets
I’m searching for a love who wants to have seeds
And water them
Not leave them to dry up because he’s not nurturing
I’m searching for a love that isn’t afraid to tap into his feminine side
Show me that he can cry rivers
I’m searching for a love that is stern in his words
But not with his fists
Because abusive men is overrated
I’m searching for a love that is caring and understanding
Of how my insecurities can sometimes get the best of me
I’m searching for a love that is motivating
That his steps are radiating positivity
That his actions get my spirit jumping
With the Holy Ghost
I’m searching for a love that looks like a God and I am his Goddess
That treats me like a Queen of Egypt
I’m searching for a love that can respect my independence
And know that I got mine
And not get intimidated
I’m searching for a man not a boy
Someone who has learned to put childish things away
And lives to seize the day
I’m searching for a love that is stable financially
And don’t have to ask, “aye baby, can you lend me a $50”
I’m searching for a love that is well accomplished
He doesn’t have to be rich, but his wealth is overrunning
Like the Atlantic ocean before global warming
I’m searching for a love that’s on his grown man tip
That when we lay in the bed his every touch is orgasmic
I’m searching for a love that knows he is a want and not a need
And won’t take advantage of me and my virginity
And believes in monogamy
I’m searching for a love who’s body is like that of a Greek God
Because he treats it like a temple that’s non sacrificial
I’m searching for a love that can cook
Because he understands that I missed that lesson
So goes to work in the kitchen
I’m searching for a love that is hard working towards his goals
And doesn’t let anyone knock him off his toes
Because he knows what he wants in life
I’m search for love whose smile is so bright
That it’s my night light in the mist of darkness
I’m searching for a love that will work through the hard times
Because divorce is not a choice
I’m searching for a love that will put a ring on this finger
And we wed until death do us part
Whose vows are renewed with every kiss
Because his lips upon mine equals heaven’s bliss
I’m searching of a love whose penis enters this vaginal canal
That makes my body go senile with every thrust
That I burst into tears that are euphoric
I'm searching for a love and I hope I can find it
I won’t dumb down my rubric
Because all these things in my love I know I deserve it
So I will keep searching for a love
A love
A love
Where are you?
I am looking
Looking
Looking
Come find me?
And if this is you
You
You
Come have me!

Grievances

2009-03-11T01:40:00.005-04:00

I’m mad
I’m fucking angry
And I’m about to say shit
And you can’t stop me
‘Cause I’m so fucking confused
So fucking confused
So fucking confused about where were going to end up being as a society
People on the corners
Not surviving because they got evicted
Unemployment, disability, and social security are the main way people making ends meet
Obama’s in the presidency, but he’s taking too long
It’s a shame kids can’t even eat
We’re trying to hold on, but it’s hard
So suicide rates are quickly rising
And health care plans are disappearing
And even with health care
Mental health has always been stigmatized and besides it’s too expensive
The House just passed a $787 billion dollar stimulus plan
How the fuck can you tell me there are still no jobs hiring?
When politicians’ pockets in the mist of a recession are still getting thick and
Mine are thinning because gas is too outrageous
I can’t even get to my job, so I get fired
Schools
Schools are no longer existing
Kids don’t see the importance of an education
So teachers stop teaching
This world is coming to an end if we don’t change something
Then, there is still a war in the Middle East that’s like a beast it’s raging
8 years later and I still don’t know the purpose
But I have an idea
Check it:
Bush was trying to get revenge for his daddy
He made excuses like weapons of mass destruction
What a good son
With innocent people dying
It’s amazing how shit just creep up in your spirit as a poet
You have no choice, but to share it
So meaningless things get meaning
As a health promotion major
They tell me America is fat
But they make these fucking burgers look delectable
We try to change the channel
But got damn there goes another one
And exercising
How can we do that?
When there are places that don’t even have side walks to walk on
Diabetes, cancers, Aids, and hypertension
Class after class these themes are reoccurring
They come up again and again
It’s so damn distressing
As a physician’s assistant
They expect me to change the world
That’s such big task and I’m afraid of failure
I’m tired of African Americans and Latinos
Being susceptible to the worst chronic diseases
What’s worst there’s nothing to appease this
Because most of this shit is genetic and our diets don’t make it better
So we keep dying
These are my grievances as a an African American woman not as a poet
Because sometimes you have to step from behind the pen
And realize that there’s real shit happening
Then open mic performances
Because this is real shit that's going to affect us one way or another
But I guess my solution to the problem
Is to bring awareness to the situation
So the world that lives under a fucking rock can understand
That we are suffering
But if we come together as a world
Everyone can begin living
And we can stop grieving
And get the fuck up out of this recession
So we can go back to those Golden Days where we were progressing
Under the Clinton Administration
Obama is someone I do have faith in
But it’s his fucking backing that I don’t trust my life with
Because there are some politicians only in it for self
They ignore the fact that there are 300 million people in this country
Not just them and their families
This isn’t fucking castaway, a one man island
And for those sitting in the back like why the fucking is she whining
I say fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you
Because sometimes you have to complain
These are my grievances
And if you’re such a superhero
Then fix these problems

A Poor Poet's Blues

2009-03-10T00:51:00.003-04:00

Contrary to popular belief
This is a business
So I write to eat
And my poetry
Becomes my meal ticket
Since I got fired from my job
When my pen meets my pad
This how I provide for self
This is how I make ends meet
So I’m forced to spit hot shit
Like Christopher KP
There’s “Pressure on my Pen”
To provide me with some dividends
Just so I can pay the rent
Never mind that extra shit
That nonsense
Because every cent that I make
Has survival engraved on it
And I’m a student
So when the bursar’s office posts a new fee
My pen must come to attention
On a writing spree
Before I get that $50 late fee
Because UGA don’t give a damn about me or my situation
Because nowadays an education
Means making money for those white collared folk with no mercy
And how do I eat?
I eat when my pen bleeds on the paper
And rapes away its virginity
To produce my poetry on that white sheet
That begets money
So I can afford to eat
No, not that extra shit
That nonsense
I’m talking Mickey D’s
And Burger King’s
As my 5 star cuisines
Because everything else is too expensive
And my pockets just can’t afford it
But I’m not whining
Nor am I crying
I’m just expressing my blues as a poor poet
But I got this spirit
That’s quite aggressive
So I know I’m gonna make it
Just wait and see
A couple of years down the line
When I’m sippin’ on some expensive wine
And sitting in a real hotel as I dine
This poem will have a follow up
Entitled, “A Successful Poet’s Testimony”
That will speak to my story
And enlighten the lives of other poets just trying to make it

Ms Ordinary

2009-03-09T16:51:00.000-04:00

I am Ms. Ordinary
But my talent is extraordinary
When my mind meets my pen and gets carried away
And leaves my body dazed and amazed
At how these two things can separate
As if they were two different entities
That weren’t meant to be together!

I am Ms. Ordinary
But don’t expect me to be in anything other then a t-shirt and some jeans
Maybe a hoodie on those days where I don’t feeling like speaking to anybody
And jewelry?
You might get lucky to if you see me with some earrings and a necklace
On those days where I don’t feel like being reckless
And my sex sells because I choose to step out of myself!

I am Ms. Ordinary
Makeup?
Ha, that’s not in my vocabulary
To the point where I don’t even know how my lips just formed the syllables
To pronounce such a word
‘Cause I believe natural beauty is the only beauty that was given to me
So why enhance it with Mary Kay and Mac?
Instead of being strapped with some lip chap
And some lotion for them ashy ‘bow and
Some body spray
‘Cause all these things mixed together can do the same thang!

I am Ms. Ordinary
But I must be honest
My ego can get pretty big
When I’m feeling myself
Like damn I’m the shit, ya dig?
But ladies we have to be egotistical sometimes
Because if I don’t love myself
I can’t expect a man to love me
Because that will leave me open for a man to control me
And I can’t have that on my time
And neither can you Ms. Lady

You see this poem wasn’t written about me
It was written as an anthem for all the average ladies
Because we are not average
We are, who we are meant to be
And we won’t change ourselves for any one
Because in the end
We are the ones that have to live with who we have become
So remember that deep down inside
We all have a light given to us by the one most high and divine
And Ms. Ordinary your light too must shine
So let it radiate
And as you walk let it smack people across their face
So they can get a taste of what it feels like when you’re walking in your God given grace
As you tell them, “I AM MS. ORDINARILY EXTRAORDINARY THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”

I AM THE TRUTH!

2009-03-03T01:17:00.000-05:00

I AM THE TRUTH!
I AM THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ TRUTH!
No disrespect to any other poet
But you haven’t heard SHIT
Until you’ve heard Tanesha Jibri Douglas
I am the realest, rawest spoken word artist
That will give you poetry uncensored
Because I have learn to speak my mind despite the haters
And I owe that one to Tamika Harper
I’ve been through too much shit
How could I not share it?
Because I rose like the phoenix
My heart beats through my poems
Do you will hear it?
If not, prepare your ears so the next poem you can receive it
I feel sorry for those who don’t listen
Because I write for everyone
And your blessing you might miss it
‘Cause I can’t say it enough that this talent is God given
When I write, it’s His words
I’m just a vessel and servant
Don’t get caught up in thinking that my spirit is pompous
It’s just a level of confidence
That comes with knowing that your poems are a hit
When I write, I’m so meticulous
Like Erykah Badu
“I’m an Artist and I’m sensitive about my shit!”
When I’m finished and the crowd is cheerin’
That lets me know that my MISSION is ACCOMPLISHED!
BECAUSE I AM THE TRUTH
AND THE TRUTH I WILL SPEAK IT!

Warning about my Poetry

2009-03-03T01:15:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone,

I want to let me everyone know that this spot is for the mature!!! I write about anything and everything. My poems will have cursing in it, so get over it. Love it anyway!!!

In the words of Erykah Badu, 'Im an artist, and Im sensitive about my shit!'

Tanesha

Allow me to introduce myself!

2009-03-03T00:31:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone,

My name is Tanesha Douglas, and I am senior at the University of Georgia. I am up and raising and can't forget blessed Spoken Word Artist!! I am extremely excited to be pursing this dream of mine. God is soo soo soo Good!!!

To let you all know a little bit about myself as a poet. I have been writing since I was about 7 or 8 as a way for me to let go of all the things that was going through as a kid. I started out rapping, and I was on Animocity Records for a while, until I realized that the life of a rapper wasn't for me, so I got out of the rap game. Although, I stopped rapping, I never stopped writing and that's how I evolved as a poet. I took a little hiatus in college for like two years because I wasn't motivated to write. I am out of that hiatus and for good!!!!

I have my first chapbook coming out in April 2009, National Poetry Month!! It will be called Old. vs New: The Chronicles of Growth. PLEASE support the project!!!

PS. Comment and let me know what you think of my work!!!

Love ya!!